Life gets so busy with kids, taking care of the house, and everything else we do on a daily basis, that often the “us time” that we crave is the first thing off the list to go undone. I know it does for me. Luckily, there are ways to help keep an identity aside from being a wife and mom by practicing a little self-care.
It’s easy to lose part of your identity when you become a wife and mother. When you throw in all of the changes that can come with being a military spouse, it can feel like you lose track of the things that you love (other than your family) that are uniquely you. Sound familiar?
Have you ever heard the saying “happiness is contagious”? I know I have. Well I also believe that unhappiness is contagious. If you are unhappy, it’s harder for those you love to be happy when they are around you.
My family and I just moved to Korea for two years. Although I really think I will love it here, I can already tell that if I don’t get out there and do the things I love and make myself part of the community, I can easily get lost, squared away in our apartment with only my baby to talk to.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I love more in life than my son. Being a wife and mother are my two most favorite roles and a huge part of my identity, but not all of my identity.
Just being here for the first few months, I can tell that it’s easier to lose myself here. Being a stay at home mom in a foreign country (or even moving away from friends in family in the same country) can feel very isolating.
It is harder to stay connected with friends and family back home. My saving grace is FaceTime with my IPhone. I FaceTime my mom every morning here (evening for her).
Even when we lived in the states, the first 4 months of my sons life, I barely left the house. It wasn’t until after we left that I realized the huge toll it was taking on me.
I no longer was going out and talking to people or doing the things I used to love doing like taking long walks with my dog, yoga, or going to lunch with friends. The socialization and sense of accomplishment I got daily at work was then replaced by talking to an adorable tiny human that did not yet talk back to me and my accomplishments, (while a feat themselves) were being able to get the house cleaned up during nap time.
Staying secluded can be bad for your mental well being and happiness. Not only was it affecting my personal happiness, but it also affected my ability to be fully present with my son and husband.