There’s no denying that breast milk is the best nutrition for a baby. But at what point is encouraging a mom to breastfeed turning into bullying? At what point does it put the health of the mother and the health of the child at risk?
You know those days that just break you down? The kind of day where you are wondering why you had children in the first place? The kind of day where you are genuinely wondering if you are fit to be a mother? The kind of day where you are overcome with guilt for having these thoughts? Yea that was my day today.
The exhaustion begins to overcome you as you stoop down to pick up yet another toy and clean up yet another mess. The checklist of things to do continues to grow along with your frustration. You try to remember the last grown up conversation you had and a time that you simply got to relax uninterrupted is a very distant memory. So what do you do when the feeling of mom burn-out begins to creep up on you?
When I found out that you were growing inside my belly, my love for you was already there. I dreamed of you- the person you would be, who you would look like, the life we would have together. Every time I felt you move, my heart skipped a beat and I got even more excited to meet you.
When I first saw you, I saw that tiny little face with those blue- gray eyes looking up at me, and I knew in that instant my heart was yours. Any love I had ever felt before was so different than this one. I knew in that instant, I would lay down my life for yours, every time, without question. I never understood the power of the love a mother has for her child until I met you.
My hopes and dreams for my future changed. It was no longer about me, it was all about you. You are all of my hopes and dreams come true. Anything I wanted before that was not what was best for you, no longer mattered to me. The greatest job and accomplishment I have ever had, is being your Mom.
I held you each night longer than I needed to to, because there is no better feeling that you nestled into my arms. Your face at such peace with the world. That face makes me feel peace even when there is nothing but uncertainty around me.
As we grew together, so did my love for you and your love for me. Watching the way you loved me, the way you experienced such raw emotions with your whole being, takes my breath away every day.
Watching you grow, learn, smile that mischievous smile, play with such uninhibited joy, makes me smile with such wonder that God blessed us with such a beautiful life. Your face lights up my world and there is no other place I would rather be than taking care of you.
My arms will forever be your safe place. When the world is scary, when you are hurt and disappointed, you can always run to me. I will do everything in my power to protect you.
I will be anything you need from me. A safe place to land, a shoulder to cry on, a perch to be carried, a place of comfort. When you need space, I will give you space. When you need encouragement, I will be your best cheerleader and your number one fan.
No matter what you do, I will always love you. There is nothing that could extinguish it. In my eyes, you will always be perfect.
I was blessed with you for a reason. You have irrevocably changed me for the better. You have made me a better person. I am more patient and more understanding, because I now know how to love with every fiber of my being. Knowing you has brought me closer to God and has made me stronger in my faith because nothing so perfect could have been created by chance.
And even after I pass, I will look down on you and watch over you still because a mother’s love never fades and transcends even through death. My love will be with you always.